Comin Back

As we Talked the hours rolled on not realising the trust and comfort  which was going back and forth between us....in grossed  yet still sat apart in safe positions not realising the historic event which is apart to occur.

Then tiredness kicks in ,As you where about too leave I got up to give u a strictly your my friend hug.

Then something happens embracing hands are lower than they should be slightly on the border of caressing. The kiss on the check leads to the sweet trail to the lips pulling back n forth ever so slowly it would'nt be easy for the eye to miss.

Going back to the bed where innocent intentions did lay now covered with shared air rhythmic sounds the motive is no longer known but it has something to do with earlier before but there's no way out no lust has got bodies entangled into soft moans an momentary enjoyment.

Its all now coming to an end, and begins the realisation which dawns that we are no longer friends , that ship has sailed away and like the suns rays the shame burns me as he wallows in  confusion, what are we now to do with this sumship we're  in. ?

6wks have passed and I hold my stomach having the strongest notion that somethingjust ain't right . i thought despite the manifestation we would be OK but now the man in the white coat is telling me congratulations..

My heart sinks lungs feel like they are about to collapse I get visions of all that people will say an do , tears wont help so I don’t cry contemplation to get rid of a percentage of a nation comes to mind ,,,but Iknow I cant bring total condemnation on myself . I am now left with this history of shame insecurity and hurting my mind is burning to the fact of why I let you stay in the first place, under it all on a serious note did I want you to stay anyway, knowing my weakness is leeway for the enemy to gully creep intiothe picture and play us both like puppets.

He wants to hit and run and I am left with all this mess.

God I amso sorry, so sorry, I amsuch a mess

I don’t know where to start and I've harden my heart to myself

I just want you to be pleased at my presence

But Forgiveness seems to be at a distance.

But it says in your word that you can correct and restore

 that you were bruised for my iniquity,

And whipped for our transgressions,

Therefore I ask for your forgiveness grace and mercy.

For those you love you chastise.. don’t want the enemy to hold me back with my past to spend eternity with you.

Yes time ...  I now feel  like ...no i know  you are doing a new thing within me, moving forward with you Lord its in my destiny

 I LOVE YOU LORD FOR YOU ARE JEHOVAH MY JUDGE MY KNIG AND I GIVE MYSELF AWAY TO YOU AGIAN !!!